en-us Fri, 24 May 2013 11:20:12 +0000 forum@oxle.com 60 http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/ Tredegar Forum http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/../ http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/images/tredegar1.gif 298 68 darole@oxle.com http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=12011 Tredegar Jokes & Humour Society Fri, 24 May 2013 10:56:28 +0000 http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=12011
Quite curious about all this, he finds a hole in the fence, looks in and someone pokes him in the eye.

Everyone in the asylum starts chanting "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"]]> uncle bob@oxle.com http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=12008 Tredegar Jokes & Humour Society Thu, 23 May 2013 17:19:28 +0000 http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=12008
“Stagecoach,five black horses one grey, big fella driving, slim one riding shotgun”

The Lone Ranger said good god! how you indians can tell all of that just by listening to the ground beats me”

Ain’t that Kemosabe, The ba5tards just run me over!"

(the old ones are still the best)]]> silverback@oxle.com http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?whichpage=-1&TOPIC_ID=12004&REPLY_ID=58687 Tredegar Jokes & Humour Society Thu, 23 May 2013 16:12:53 +0000 http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=12004 Quote:
Hi Bryan you are sooooo right

S.B.

[img]/misc_gifs/Silverback.jpg[/img]]]> Bryan Rendell@oxle.com http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=12005 Tredegar Jokes & Humour Society Thu, 23 May 2013 13:40:54 +0000 http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=12005
After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said "Who Owns the big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do....Why?"

The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you'd like to know that your horse is about dead outside!"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion.

The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.

The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."

Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe" and took off running circles around Silver.


Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the saloon to finish his drink.



A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?"


The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?"

The cowboy looks him in the eye and says,


"Nothing, but you left your injun runnin".]]> darole@oxle.com http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=11989 Tredegar Jokes & Humour Society Tue, 21 May 2013 18:53:31 +0000 http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=11989 The officer says, " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir ."

The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. "

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don"t be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn"t have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?"
The wife smiles demurely and says,
"Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you"re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn"t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you"re driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON"T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma"am?"

"Only when he"s been drinking, officer."]]> darole@oxle.com http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=11981 Tredegar Jokes & Humour Society Mon, 20 May 2013 18:21:05 +0000 http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=11981 He saw a washer and dryer, but there was no price listed on them.
He asked the sales person "How much are the washer and dryer?"

"Five dollars for both of them," the salesman said.
"Yeah right, you've got to be kidding me!" the man replied sarcastically.
"No, that's the price," the salesman said, "Do you want to buy them or not?"
"Yeah, I'll take them!" the customer responded.

He continued to look around and saw a car stereo system with a detachable face cassette player, a CD changer, amplifier, speakers, and subwoofers. "How much?" he asked.

"Five dollars for the system," the salesman answered.
"Is it stolen?" the guy asks.
"No," said the salesman, "It's brand new, do you want it or not?"
"Sure," the customer replied. He looked around some more.

Next he found a top of the line computer with printer and monitor. "How much?"
"Five dollars," was the familiar response.
"I'll take that too!" the man said.

As the salesperson is ringing up the purchases, the man asked him,
"Why are your prices so cheap?"

The salesman said, "Well, the owner of the store is at my house right now with my wife.
What he's doing to her, I'm doing to his business!"]]> fredd@oxle.com http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=11973 Tredegar Jokes & Humour Society Sat, 18 May 2013 22:10:18 +0000 http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=11973 darole@oxle.com http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=11969 Tredegar Jokes & Humour Society Fri, 17 May 2013 19:22:13 +0000 http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=11969
The next day he comes in again, again buys condoms, and again walks out laughing. Thinking this is somewhat strange, the pharmacist asks his assistant to follow the man if he comes back. Sure enough, the man comes in the next day and walks out laughing.

This time the assistant goes after him, returning 20 minutes later.

"So did you follow him?" asks the pharmacist. "Yup.

" "Where did he go?" "Your house.]]> silverback@oxle.com http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=11950 Tredegar Jokes & Humour Society Tue, 14 May 2013 20:38:44 +0000 http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=11950 Paddy: 'Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and
ears and I tink both his legs are broken.'
Operator: 'What is your location sir?'
Paddy: 'Outside number 28 Eucalyptus Street ...'
Operator: 'How do you spell that sir?'
Silence.... (heavy breathing) and after a minute.
Operator: 'Are you there sir?'
More heavy breathing and another minute later.
Operator: 'Sir, can you hear me?'
This goes on for another few minutes until....
Operator: 'Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?'
Paddy: 'Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell eucalyptus, so I just
dragged him round to number 3 Oak Street ..'


S.B.

[img]/misc_gifs/Silverback.jpg[/img]]]> Bryan Rendell@oxle.com http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=11942 Tredegar Jokes & Humour Society Mon, 13 May 2013 15:33:13 +0000 http://www.tredegar.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=11942 http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=n9uMJovuA_Y

Click on desktop.]]>