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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 19/08/2020 :  15:25:20 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote



Gordon Bennett & Holy Moley (1892 expression)
Some of Tredegar's side roads are extremely pot holey
Come on Blaenau Gwent Council get these roads repaired fast
We'll be so glad for a less bumpy car ride & damage at last
You're doing the bypass that's absolutely brilliant to see
Now concentrate on some of the side roads put it on your jobs list for 2020

Many Thanks!
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 19/08/2020 :  19:47:05 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

Making Kids Happy Whilst Their Learning = Well Done!

How lovely it is to hear our children talking fondly of the PPA teacher in our local primary/junior School
This lady has really done her job exceptionally well and makes learning about nature megga fun & cool
Kids get yourselves outside & enjoy the world around you all
Look at the amazing flora & fauna, however big or small
Our world is such a wonderful place a beautiful one for you to explore
Keep on looking and learning you'll discover new things more & more
Take care of our planet earth it's important you do this right
and don't forget when you go to bed open the curtains & peep at the stars & planets shining bright

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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 20/08/2020 :  21:55:09 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

FISH, CHIPS & PETIT POIS at 4pm

The 1 coin goes in the trolley slot and around the supermarket aisles I quickly go
You see I have visitors arriving for a meal later...got to get things ready by 4
I'm looking into the freezer now searching for my favourite frozen fish
along with crinkly chips & petit pois it's going to be delish
THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN! I felt myself squirm and in my head say YCH-A-FI
You never guess what was next to my delicious fish & was staring straight at me
Well the last time I'd seen edible snails they were on a programme called That's Life, many years ago
and Esther Rantzen was offering them on a plate to OAP's who were grimacing and saying NO
Does anyone actually eat these things it's not something I could attempt easily
In fact just the look of them makes me feel rather queer & very, very queasy
Anyway the popular That's Life programme drew a huge number of people to settle down in their viewing armchairs
It consisted of a good variety of humour, things like talking dogs and the latest consumer affairs
That talking pooch reminds me to put sausages in my trolley too
Check the dog out on Youtube bet he will impress even you
I also remember a chap named Cyril Fletcher, always speaking odes in cockney tones
This man was a talented actor & comedian....he definitely had very funny bones
Well off to the checkouts now to find a less busy till
Got my Barclay card poised ready to swipe and pay my bill
Driving half way home I realise I didn't pick up the cod
or those teeny, weeny tiny peas....the ones fresh from the pod

Oh for goodness sake those flipping shelled gastropods made me forget! Turn around at the roundabout, back up and wait at the traffic lights AGAIN!
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 22/08/2020 :  12:57:38 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
LEGGY'S BIG NIGHT OUT

Pressed the button on my electric toothbrush - it's spinning faster then a ferris wheel
Then whilst looking in the bathroom mirror, I let out a foamy, spluttering white scream

A spider the size of an octopus was sitting, bathing in my bath
Honestly I thought it was a fake one put there by my other half

You could have knocked me down with a budgie feather when the spider then began to talk
He said most indignantly, I'm certainly not a stupid practical joke

Mr Many Legs announced....Do you mind I'm sprucing myself up for a night out with the Mrs later on
and I'd really like some privacy and would appreciate it if you were gone!

I apologised profusely and put a spurt on to finish cleaning my toothy pegs
Whilst the spider...IN MY BATH... was now putting Lidl's Cien shower gel on his eight dangly legs

I bid farewell to the spider wished him a pleasant evening out that night
He replied, Many thanks with a smile that could easily beat Rylan Clarkes pearly whites

OMG, now he's starting spreading my best hair gel on his hairy spiky head
It was then I decided I should get myself off to bed

As I went to close the bathroom door the spider shouted, Can I borrow your Phoenix moped
I threw him the keys reluctantly and told him it was in the garden shed

Then I felt it - An elbow nudge poking me sharply in my back....OW!
For goodness sake Basil - Will you wake up immediately NOW!

You've been snoring like a farm animal - I've tried & cannot get off to sleep
Been lying here for the last few hours counting welsh beulah speckled face sheep...

Thank goodness for that, I've been dreaming again
It's a good job the Mrs woke me up, I was just about to lend that spider a couple of quid. I would have never had that back in a million years! Phew!!!!!

Close shave

Goodnight all zzzzzzzz
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 23/08/2020 :  16:40:52 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

THE SETTING

GLADYS & TREVOR ARE TUCKED UP IN BED JUST GOING OFF TO SLEEP WHEN GLADYS NUDGES TREV AND SAYS, SSSSHHHHH WHAT'S THAT NOISE!

NEXT MORNING AFTER BREAKFAST

Went up to take a look in the attic, haven't been up there since 2003
My wife is holding the ladder in case something up there jumps on me

We've heard something unexplainable last night - a weird sort of humming sound
decided to go and investigate to see what could be found

I stepped off the wobbly step ladder & started to creep slowly right
I trod on one of the kids old squeaky toys... OMG it didn't half give me a fright

I regained my composure, my heart is banging loud as hell
It was then I banged my head on a rafter and down through the ceiling I fell

The Mrs started shouting - the ceiling is now lying on her posh Cath Kidston bed
I told you not to go up there... is what she angrily said

Well boy or boy that night we found out what the humming noise really was - a huge nest of bees
Spent the early hours afraid in case those black & yellow buzzing insects landed on me

I'm glad I landed on the posh bed, it really broke my fall
Even Gladys, in the end was relieved - she didn't have to give A&E a call

Oh well, it's a trip down to Shop Row in the morning & order some plasterboard & wood
Looks like I'll be spending Mon & Tues making the 1980's artex ceiling good

Anyone want to have a go at bee keeping please get in touch
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 23/08/2020 :  19:49:13 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

BAYWATCH SWIM WEAR - I DON'T THINK SO

I remember years ago having a knitted costume to go into the sea
By the time I'd finished splashing around the awful things were around my knees

My friends demanded I stop wearing them to Tredegar's outdoor swimming pool
They told me they looked strange and the image I was projecting wasn't cool

They certainly was never practical...a bit useless you'll agree
So I decided then to stop putting them on when I was 33

They really were embarassing, sagging 4ply wool finally settling on my size 10 feet
Take it from me all that plain & pearl knitting did not look at all neat

Bring on the Speedos
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 24/08/2020 :  11:25:26 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

FINDING CALM IN YOUR LIFE

I stood silent on top of the hillside looking down on our valley below
It felt that all life's worries had disappeared and time was going slow

The valley wrapped around our Tredegar have trees so luscious and green
The beauty surrounding us is mesmerizing, truly wonderful and serene

Get your walking boots on....breathe in that fantastic welsh mountain air
It's good to feel alive again with that gently breeze flowing through your hair

It doesn't cost a penny...it doesn't cost the earth
Get yourself a backpack & start treading that viridescent wild turf
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 27/09/2020 :  09:34:04 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Sunday lunch & Scary fangs

Pink floral, blue spots, patterned, black & white
Some fall off and others toooooooooo tight
The times it moves up & down my face
Making me bump into things all over the place
WEAR A MASK... is what they say
Rules and regulations we must obey
Who would have thought a mask would become the latest fashion accessory
Keeping us safe...the first minister says it's very necessary
I'm surfing the internet now looking for a mask with huge, snarling teeth
Going to wear them in Spoons next Sunday whilst eating my roast beef


Apologies in advance to any vegetarians out there!

Oh & please put your used masks in a bin or better still buy a washable one, better for the environment

Edited by - billbaily on 27/09/2020 09:36:31
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 27/09/2020 :  10:21:36 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Christmas & Ghosts

Popped up to town yesterday...

Masked up and into Home Bargains I go - spooky, scary Halloween things are to the right
Waited until the coast was clear of shoppers & made my way over to sparkly decorations for Christmas night
Where would we be without our Home Bargains it's got nearly everything a home requires
It's online too if you didn't know... for gifts, toys and also Daewoo flame effect electric fires
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 29/09/2020 :  12:16:37 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

Hands up who loves Yorkshire puds, they really compliment a delicious roast Sunday dinner
Or how About a midweek treat - toad in the hole, it really is a worthy winner
Put lashings of tasty gravy on top and dive in with your knife & fork
add a drizzle of apple sauce they say, if your choice of meat is pork
HOT mustard is the one for me - it really does the trick
but what I must remember is not to put it on TOO THICK!
It nearly blew my brains out once, my head was tingling, crazy mad
My family were extremely worried and saying, "Why are you pulling funny faces and acting very strangely dad"

So be warned - like the experts say "HAVE THINGS IN MODERATION"

Try this easy recipe for Lockdown Yorkshire Puddings

Makes approx up to 12 puds

Put oven on Gas 9

Then beat together until smooth
2 large eggs
100g plain flour
100ml milk

Grease a muffin/cake tin with vegetable oil, pop this in the oven until the oil is very hot
Remove the tin carefully from the oven and pour the batter into the tin compartments
Pop them back in the oven for approx 10-15 mins or until they have risen and are golden colour


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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 02/10/2020 :  10:45:22 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

Well Trump has got the virus, heard it on the news today
It just shows this virus is still circulating and in the meantime here to stay
Let's be a little more mindful of what our carefree actions could do...
and not do unnecessary things that could in the end affect me and you
Special times with family and friends we definitely want to see
Especially the one where it involves Christmas dinner and in the corner a beautifully decorated tree
Let's put our masks on, I'm getting one with a photo of half of my face below
Then I can be easily recognised when I got my bobble hat on in the snow

Keep your family & friends safe everyone!
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 09/10/2020 :  14:16:59 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

SEPTEMBER - COOKIE'S GREAT ESCAPE MAKES THE BBC NEWS

What the heck is crying for attention up that giant 60ft tree
Residents from the Rhyd peer up and it's a distressed cat they can see
Many worrying days have passed and it still hasn't got down
so they send out an SOS message around Tredegar town
AP Scaffolding Services, Ebbw Vale arrives and they really save the day
Cookie the cat is now safely down to a chorus of HIP, HIP HOORAY

Good Team Work Folks!
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 09/10/2020 :  16:08:06 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

CWTCH UP

Octobers here.... filling Tredegar with golden autumnal colour
and Oct 25th we'll be turning back all the clocks an hour
Get your hats and scarves ready, cwtch up and keep snug
It's time for hot chocolate in your favourite mug
Turn on the lamps, get your slippers on too
start making those Christmas wish lists, it's a favourite for kids to do
Don't forget pop up to our town and check out what's there
Show Tredegar traders that we really do care
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 10/10/2020 :  10:14:33 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

TEG YW EDRYCH TUAG ADREF

It's good to look homewards when you are far away
Miles cannot separate family..... you gently hear me say
A cup of tea, a welsh cake is waiting... as soon as you open my front door
Memories of our life we'll laugh about, that happened many, many years before
Keep those warm & special thoughts cwtched up in your heart
It will help to keep you safe whilst we're apart

Found this recipe for Traditional Welsh Cakes by Kathryn Gunter, Market Bakery, Abergavenny online

Makes 10=12 cakes

8ozs Self Raising Flour
2ozs Caster Sugar
4ozs Margarine/Butter
1-2 Handfuls Of Sultanas
1 or 2 Free Range Eggs depending on the mixture

Sieve the flour and mix with the margarine/butter
Rub in finely together
Add sugar/sultanas and mix together
Add 1 egg - if too dry add another egg
Roll out to 1/4 inch thick
Cut into rounds using a cutter
Cook on griddle/bakestone for 4-5 mins each side
Remove from griddle/bakestone and put on a wire rack to cool
but sprinkle some caster sugar on the top whilst still warm

Enjoy!
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 12/10/2020 :  13:02:48 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

I've Decided I'm Having A Less Risky Christmas

Noticed all the big? chocolate tubs are making an appearance in the supermarkets yesterday
Is it me or do they look a bit smaller in size...I heard my other half say (Probably a good thing health wise)

It's the same old Christmas ritual, there's excitement in the air when the lid eventually pops off
The family flock around the tub, eat all their favourites
scoff, scoff, scoff

A week later you peer in..... and there they are lying all alone.....those rock hard toffee sweets
Your thinking twice now about eating them in case they loosen your precious teeth

It's not been at all easy going to the dentist this year so keep flossing and brushing your teeth folks and be careful what you eat

If anyone likes toffees your more than welcome to them
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 13/10/2020 :  11:16:26 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote



WHAT'S IN STORE - FROM MR LEWIS THIS YEAR

Got thinking what delights are in the John Lewis Christmas advert this year
The family have decided it will include a small animal covered in the softest fur
The cutest thing you ever did see
cwtched up next to the biggest Christmas tree

It's made the news in the Liverpool Echo, Express, Good Housekeeping and even Wales Online - all four
Just wondering now if a cameo role will be given to Sir Captain Tom Moore
Maybe they will feature our brilliant NHS staff - I hope they do
Just to show our grateful appreciation for what they have done, for me and you
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 15/10/2020 :  11:49:52 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

Service Not Self - Is The Motto

Don't forget to buy your poppies, handcrafted ones are on sale in Barclays Bank today
The money raised for veterans certainly helps in every way
to support our armed forces, their families and areas of the community
The Royal British Legion - formed 15th May 1921 is a very worthwhile charity
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 15/10/2020 :  15:17:34 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

More Haste Less Speed, But All Is Not Lost When There's A Lidl's Mince Pie At The End

Did some gardening & tidying up this week when the weather was warm & fine
when I had finished, off came my shoes, enjoyed a meal & poured a glass of Lidl's red wine

Later on that evening I bent down to pick up what I thought was a wet leaf
Squirmed in horror, threw it down in shock & disbelief

It was a big, slippery slug that had been stuck on my garden shoe
Bit uncomfortable where slugs are concerned - I don't mind telling you

I popped him on the dustpan - gave him a ride to my back door
it was then in my haste I slipped and stubbed my bleeping toe

He waved and said au revoir my friend, thanks for being so kind to me
but now I got my throbbing, aching foot up and Doris is making me a cup of tea

Think I'll have a Lidl's mince pie too - Good value for the money and tasty too

Slug Facts

It takes 1 year for a slug to reach maturity and they live for approx 2 years

They are a good food source for
Hedgehogs, foxes, badgers, birds, slow worms and beetle
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 17/10/2020 :  12:00:44 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

THAT'S OLD HAT

Doris has washed my winter hats, they are pegged out on the washing line all in a neat row
she said, let's freshen them up before Derek The Weatherman points at Blaenau Gwent on the map... and announces SNOW!

It was then I got thinking about the many varieties of hat there are
and through the many ages have proved to be extremely useful and popular

Bowler hats, deer stalkers, stetsons, berets, fedora, dai cap, cheesecutter, baseball, turbans, head scarves, hard hat to name just a few
A mixture of hats through the many, many ages old & new

Why is it that babies & toddlers won't keep them on their head
They sit in their prams & buggies and fling them on the ground instead!
Why is it that ladies wear the ones with the biggest, widest brims
Always got stuck behind them in weddings when we were singing those high pitched hymns

Well I'm happy wearing my bobble hat because I can pull it over my ears and down the back of my neck
My favourite one is 20 years old, made of the best welsh wool - a multi coloured check


Bring on the snow Derek - I'm ready!
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 22/10/2020 :  13:15:43 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
KIDS ARE OFF SCHOOL - WHAT CAN WE DO?

A soft gentle breeze is flowing up through the valleys.... and there are cloudy blue skies overhead
Stunning views in our Tredegar today....it definitely has to be said

The pavements are covered in a blanket of amber leaves, scattered like confetti thrown from above
This is one of the four seasons that I appreciate... and truly love

Kids get your coat on and go outside to collect and press some of that autumn foliage
Ask your mam & dad for an very old book and place the leaves between each & every page

Leave them to dry for a few weeks, check on them now & again
Stick them onto some paper, be creative and add some felt pens

Most importantly - Have fun and don't forget take a bag to put all your leaves in

Edited by - billbaily on 22/10/2020 13:19:13
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 25/10/2020 :  18:22:21 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

I've been looking out of the window quite a lot today, haven't seen a soul on the streets having their daily exercise. I don't blame them - what awful weather we are having. I bet the lighthouse in Porthcawl is being battered by high waves too, quite a spectacle to see on You Tube in previous years, I'll check it out later

Back goes the clocks and here comes the torrential rain
Felt like going out for a walk - but stuck inside again

Haven't noticed much bright daylight around Tredegar today
It's very gloomy with dark skies .....is what I will say

Moan, Moan, Moan

Well enough of that negative talk - let's brighten things up say's Doris with her hand on her hip
I'm going to make some pikelets....I suggest you go and have a little kip

Sounds a brilliant idea, a lovely pick me up is what I said
so I take a trip up the wooden hill and have 30 mins sleep on the bed

I wake up to the smell of baking.... cannot wait to have one with my favourite brew of welsh tea
The only trouble I have is - I can't stop at one it's more like two or three

Doris' Recipe for Easy Pikelets if you fancy having a go

Beat together

220g self raising flour
pinch salt
50g sugar
2 eggs
280ml milk

Grease a frying pan with a small amount of vegetable oil and pour a small amount of the batter in. You turn the pikelet over when you see bubbles forming on the top, to cook the other side. If you like add currants etc., when it's in the frying pan. Leave to cool on a wire rack - Very tasty with butter on, just plain or spread with Lidl's chocolate spread in a jar.

Got to go now folks before Doris pops the rest of them in the freezer!
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 29/10/2020 :  13:16:10 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
THE SETTING

We were both enjoying a quiet cuppa
Whilst watching Homes Under The Hammer
when

Ring Ring Ring Ring

Doris' older sister Gladys rang our phone today
she's in an awful panic - her bloomers have blown away

She say's they were on the extendable washing line, flapping madly back & fore
and then she caught sight of them flying off the pegs before she even reached her back door

Can you help me Trevor she says, I need to get them back
They're my favourite ones..... roomy, comfy and jet black

They cost me a pretty packet and at the moment I can't visit Methyr Tydfil town
Don't know when that will likely be..... because we are in the 2nd lockdown

I sent out a few SOS messages... to all the local residents
Albert texts me back & jokingly says, do they resemble a 4 person tent?

If this is so....they are stuck in my beautiful Japanese Acer tree
so I race down to Peacehaven and take my Poundland litter picker with me

I've never seen Gladys so relieved to see her missing pants
I was offered an extra large chunk of Bara Brith - it was her way of saying thanks

Happy to say I was back home in time to see the renovations completed on Homes Under The Hammer - PHEW!
Peace & dignity restored!
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billbaily
Super Member

917 Posts

Posted - 29/10/2020 :  21:01:43 Link directly to this reply  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Gall Y Ferch Hon Ganu!

Himalayan Scout was spot on with their quote earlier

Trinity Leigh has the voice and talent to take her all the way
We wish her all the best for next Saturday

We'll all be pressing our remotes for The Voice on ITV
Giving you all our support when you perform on national telly

We're all very proud of you and Meghan Trainor also thinks it too
What confidence & courage you are showing to our youngsters - what a lovely thing to do

Go on that stage Trinity hold your head up high, knowing that your home town is behind you all the way!

Well done

Edited by - billbaily on 29/10/2020 21:03:32
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