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My Monkey . . . . .
Posted by Webmaster on 10/20/2003 08:18:40
My Monkey has disproportionately long arms.
Some would have you believe that, for a three inch tall monkey, an arm-span of seven inches is normal. It isn't; it's disproportionate. Even if you are a hairy primate.
I want to know why this is the case with my monkey.
As a rule, monkeys do have long arms. It's an evolutionary thing, designed around the importance of not falling out of trees (presumably, in the early days of monkeydom, the owner of the evolutionary process did a statistical analysis of the ratio of dead chimps on the jungle floor to short arms, and came to a reasonable conclusion).
Nevertheless, this does not explain why my monkey has exceptionally long arms. I'm just theorising, but who can confidently exonerate GM from blame. You get GM corn and GM carrots, so why not GM Monkeys. If they can clone a sheep, then stretching the arms of a monkey must be a trifle.
I think the fact that monkeys in general tend not to complain, preferring to accept the status quo, is also a contributing factor. You cannot imagine a well fed, healthy monkey rocking the boat for the sake of a few extra arm inches. It doesn't make sense to think that way. A monkey is simply not aesthetically conscious. Anyway, who's to say that the additional length is not welcome?
I think I might have just answered my own question. Please disregard.
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